20-year-old student discovers through social media that her roommate adopted a cat behind her back, after she persistently refused to get a pet, claiming it would become her responsibility: 'I’m angry, I’m annoyed, I just don’t know how to go about it'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jul 30, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

To Adopt or Not To Adopt, now that is the question…

Nothing is more awkward than having disagreements with a roommate, whether small or big. A roomie-argument means that the eggshells have been scattered all around the apartment floor, and the giant elephant in the room is officially squashing them. Of course, the tension may come in different forms: there could be a head-on one-on-one occurrence, a little two-against-one situation, or even a self-conflict taking place. 

You know what they say, you never truly know someone until you live with them. If they refuse to pick up their bathroom towel, leave the dishes in the sink to mimic an Eiffel tower without the intention of creating abstract art, or even buying a pet behind your back after you've said, 'It's just not realistic right now,' more times than you can count. 

So as you can imagine, tensions run high between these two roomies after the one flatmate adopts a cat for the apartment without consulting her roommate about it first. Her roommate has made it clear that she does not want a cat, because she is smart enough to know that it will eventually become her responsibility to ensure the cat keeps all of its 9 lives…

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  • Emotions run high in these roommates' clash of cats, a battle of betrayal and utter annoyance. We can only picture how this situation is going to play out. Whether you are a cat-lover or not, when someone goes behind your back after telling you they wouldn't do something, then proceeds to do that very thing, we can imagine their Facebook page is full of ‘looking for a new roommate' posts and some very awkward mornings…

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    "The first thing I see is a post where she's asking for pet names with her brand new cat in the frame"
    via Helena Lopes

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my roommate I don’t want a cat

    So to preface this I (20f) and my flatmate (20f) have been living together for over a year now. It's been going really well and we
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 03
    recently downgraded from a three person situation to just the two of us. We're good friends and until now everything was going great.
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 04
    The problem is, with the new apartment, the lease allows pets as long as we make the landlord aware. Ever since my roommate
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 05
    heard this she's been on my case about potentially getting a cat. I love cats, they're adorable and if I were to have a pet that's
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 06
    definitely what I'd get. But, we're two college students that spend most time out of the apartment, whether it's going out at night
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    and staying at friends places for a few days, or just going to class. I've told her on no uncertain terms I do not think a cat is a good idea.
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 08
    It'll be lonely, and I don't want to pay for it, and when we have friends over I do t want the place to smell. I just don't want to take
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
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    care of it at all. She says I won't have to, but she lives in a different country and goes home every christmas, easter ect. At the
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
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    moment I'm the only one even living in the flat because she's been gone for 2 months! Anyway, I go on social media this
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    morning and the first thing I see is a post where she's asking for pet names with her brand new cat in the frame. I'm angry, I'm
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    Cheezburger Image 10534776576
    via Liza Summer

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    annoyed, but most of all I just don't know how to go about it. I've messaged her and said i don't didn't agree to this but aim
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
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    worried aim being the a hole for no reason, when she's said she'll take care of it.
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 15
    Eggcellentplans NTA. Pets are great, but not when you don't have the time or money to take care of them. This cat isn't suitable for either of you at this point in time and your roommate is being unreasonable, since she can't take care of a cat if she's not in the country to take care of it.
    via Eggcellentplans
  • 16
    If she's going to push the issue then you should consider finding a new roommate before her cat turns into your cat. And let her know you'll be finding a new roommate unless she drops the idea. The moment her studies are done and she goes home that cat is staying with you and you already know it.
    via Eggcellentplans
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    Automatic-Egg-8336 OP this is what i'd want to do, but really the way our lease works, and how things work in our country is I'm not able to move out or break the lease unless both of us sign, so I wouldn't really be able to find a new roommate unless she agreed. She's said too
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 18
    that she'll find someone to cat sit if she goes anywhere, I'm just a bit peeved since we live in such a small apartment that I know it's going to have to roam around unless I'm being cruel and making her keep it in her room.
    via Automatic-Egg-8336
  • 19
    Stephreads NTA. She needs to give that cat back immediately. What an incredibly selfish thing to do.
    via Stephreads
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    FloatingInSpaze You sound like you're a cat lover AND the best kind since you're thinking responsibly about owning a cat. Pets are like children. Definitely NTA.
    via FloatingInSpaze
  • 21
    Salty-Potato-843 NTA at all you have a point. I would love to take my two cats to college but I know I would have no time for them. Also is she even allowed to get the cat if you're not on board with it? Maybe talk to the landlord.
    via Salty-Potato-843
  • 22
    VelluneMorr NTA. You were clear from the start, no cat. She knew your reasons the time, money, smell and responsibility, but still went ahead and got one without your agreement. That's not just inconsiderate, it's disrespectful.
    via VelluneMorr
  • 23
    Brief-Purpose5936 NTA. You are sharing a space and you said no to a pet. She got one anyway. That's extremely r de and disrespectful on her part. I'd look into options to get out of the lease with her.
    via Brief-Purpose5936
  • 24
    OmightyOmo The ct is going to choose the person that didn't want it. Happens every time.
    via OmightyOmo

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responsibility landlord new-roommate living together adopted disagree Travel memebase move out roommates cat person Cats pet friendly look-after shared space cat lover apartment
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